Hey there blog world!
It’s been a while and quite a month too. The weather has been as unpredictable as I’ve ever seen for January. Usually, we’re experiencing super-cold temps and a boatload of snow but we’ve run the gamut. There’s been some single digit temps but then we had warmer weather and tons of rain leaving a ridiculously icy mess.
Not only did driving over that stink but WALKING across a huge parking lot to get in and out of work was treacherous.
Everything was melting away during a streak of 32+ weather until yesterday when we had another winter storm and 5 fresh inches of white making it look like Winter in Wisconsin once again.
With the Packers out of SuperBowl running now, the weekends aren’t filled with the pre-game excitement anymore. We’re heartily rooting for Atlanta but I’ve yet to decide if we’ll actually watch the game. There was SO much excitement when we hosted the play-off game a few weeks ago though. That’s the kind of buzz that fills an entire town. Ben and I were driving around Lambeau and stopped to see some of the fun snow carvings/sculptures they were making in preparation for the game:
(I could totally make that)
(This? Maybe not so much… Love the little carved G on the side and the spikes in the shoes. Fun details!!)
I’ve been having a very difficult time at work. It’s been challenging for the past 2+ years since we hired a new boss for our department and I’ve been killing myself trying to do a good job. Sometimes it’s hard to see patterns when they are happening to you but looking back over time I’m seeing how my manager has been stripping away my confidence over time. I don’t feel like I can do my job anymore. I don’t feel wanted either.
It’s hard because I’m not a person who relishes change. In fact, I loathe it in these types of circumstances – especially when my confidence is a zero – but I’m realizing that it’s causing me so much anxiety, depression, and misery. I need to do something. I’ve been looking for new jobs to apply for but honestly, I don’t feel like I can do anything and I don’t want to do anything right now. So we’re balancing finances with maybe taking a little break from everything to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.
So that’s been a large part of why I’ve been MIA. I come home and, on a good day, make dinner and manage to get something done around the house. More often than not it’s been cuddled up on the couch in tears dreading going into work the next day. I’m a good, hard-working employee and a rational part of me knows I’m a valuable asset that companies would want to hire, but the emotional part of me fears failure and not actually being as good as I think I am. Definitely some mental work to do!
I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth – I’m just working on hanging in there a day at a time. I’m hoping for good things in 2017 despite a rough start but it’ll take courage and grit to get there. Wish me luck!!! 🙂
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