I hope you are all having a fabulous day so far. It’s chilly here in Packer-land and I’m having to wear a jacket to work each morning this week. Funny how quickly things change isn’t it!?
If you’ve been reading in between the lines of my blog, you probably know that I’m planning a wedding … and that I’m not exactly basking in planning bliss. I’ve been stewing over wedding colors for months and as I cross each thing off the list I know that while I’m making the best decisions I can at the time, somehow nothing seems what I really want.
Last weekend after another dress shopping meltdown and subsequent conversations and soul-searching, we decided to cancel the wedding. I sat in the living room with my eyes itchy and irritated from all my crying and knew it was the right decision. As I ticked off the very, very short list of reasons we initially picked May for the wedding date I realized it was never what I wanted and was an attempt to have a convenient time for family and friends. But it wasn’t me and because of that, nothing was clicking.
The minute Ben and I agreed to change the date, I felt an enormous weight lift off my shoulders. I had wedding colors, a theme, and flower ideas pop into my head and everything felt like it moved effortlessly into place. I was incredibly nervous all week trying to get in touch with the vendors to see if a date change was even possible and every single one had our new date open.
Maybe that’s a sign?
So on May 30th instead of walking down the aisle, I suspect Ben and I will be relaxing and enjoying the start of Summer. We’d have been able to actually attend my graduation rather than make it an afterthought and will have the entire summer to plan final details.
I now have 3 more months to lose weight and 3 more months to find a dress. The only thing I won’t have is my maid of honor. She’ll be starting a new semester teaching and a trip from NY won’t be possible but I know she’ll be with me in spirit.
More importantly, I’m happy. I’m feeling calm for the first time since we started planning. If you’re a long-time blog reader you already know I’m completely in love with the fall season.
I’m sharing all this because I think it’s important for people to understand that even when you make big decisions, if they aren’t the right ones, you can change them. Sometimes it takes a while to sort through it all though. If you’d asked me about moving the date a month ago, I never would have given it serious thought. I didn’t see the value and thought it was too late to do anything. When things weigh heavily on you, it’s important to work through them until you find what clicks. When you find it, you’ll know. Take the time. You’re worth it. ❤
And now the countdown starts over until Sept, 2014…
Filed under: Wedding |